What is this elusive thing called happiness?
Most people confuse pleasure with happiness. Is happiness traveling, buying a new toy, sex, or eating great food? Is it jumping out of a plane or doing some extreme sport? Or maybe, it’s getting likes on your Instagram or Facebook? I would say no to all of the above. Although all of these things create temporary, feel-good moments, I would call it pleasure or superficial happiness. I would not call it true happiness.
They are just brief flashes of enjoyment that leave us once again to chase a pleasant feeling. Unfortunately, the more we have these passing moments of pleasure, the more routine our mind finds them, which in turn increases our need to keep upping the ante, so to speak.
Happiness vs Pleasure
From the time we are children we have learned that when we get what we want, we feel happy and when we don’t we feel upset. Therefore, it is only natural that we carry this idea with us into adulthood, and continue to associate happiness or pleasurable experiences with getting what we want. Kain Ramsay, a well-known author, teacher, and speaker talks about the difference between happiness and fulfillment. He takes what many would call pleasure, and says it is what most people call “happiness” and what many would call “happiness”, he calls fulfillment.
This pleasurable feeling is what many of us are striving for. Regrettably, it relies on us always getting and taking. However, once we get that “thing” or have that external “experience” our pleasure slips away and we are on to wanting the next thing. This eventually leaves us feeling empty and purposeless.
Fulfillment Comes From The Inside
True happiness or fulfillment, can only come from the inside, from an inner well of joy inside of us. However, many people are so wrapped up in the outer world and its forms of pleasure and what they can get out of the world that they are missing what can really fill them up inside.
It’s not what you can get out of life that creates meaning, fulfillment, and joy, it’s what you can give and share that creates meaning, purpose, contentment, satisfaction, and energy flow.
Why is that?
If you think about our most valuable resource it is our time. How are we going to spend our time and what are we going to focus on? Our time is a nonrenewable resource that we never get back or can create more of. Therefore, when we give or share it with someone else it is the most valuable thing that you can give.
Think about a time when you shared your love, attention, energy, knowledge or your story in support of someone. It lights you up and fills you up with a sense of contentment and fulfillment. We all love being asked for help, we get to share an essential part of ourselves, our energy, and love.
What Do I Have To Share?
If you are like me, then you have heard this before, “we are here to share and contribute”. And as many times as I had heard that in the past, I never really believed I had anything to contribute. I thought I would have to go back to school to learn something or take another workshop to learn something new to help people and give back.
What I wasn’t realizing is that I didn’t need to learn any more skills in order to share myself, my perspective, my struggles and challenges and how I got through them or are working on them. I didn’t need to keep adding anything to this outside persona to shine my light. I also realized that I have learned skills throughout my life and I have natural talents and gifts that I need and want to share with others.
I have also realized that as a child others had put down some of my talents and skills and until I worked through some of my fears I glossed over these gifts and abilities. We all have a unique perspective on life and have had our individual struggles, strife, and experiences. We have all been on our individual path and have things that we have learned along the way. When we share ourselves and our journey to help others, we feel alive, joyful, and on purpose. It is a lasting, motivating, and freeing warm feeling of meaningfulness that stays with us and like a lamp, turns on our inner light.
So my challenge to you is to find your gifts, talents, skills, and experience that you can share with other people. Honor yourself, your light, your heart, and your soul. How can you project love onto the world in your way? Get the My Gifts exercise here. Fill it out and see what you can share with the world!
I would love to hear your comments. Please post below!!
